Apparently they are making another Judge Dredd film. Why not? The last Judge Dredd film was such an unmitigated success it would be churlish not to pump another version out. This poem might be about the last version, or the new one, or maybe the comic. I wouldn’t know; I haven’t seen/read any of them (thanks to boingboing.net for the image).
The Grark fragged off a grafted lawgiver
Right in Dredd’s judicial fizzog.
Dredd got real mad.
Dredd growled “I am the law, by Grud”
But the Grark shot off on a gimpfloat.
“Drokk” squeaked the Grark,
Receding into the orange twilight
Of Mega-City One.
Dredd got real madder.
Not so real madder that he showed his face
Not so real madder that he actually
Took the unprecedented step
Of taking off his helmet
And actually showing his face.
But had he showed his face
It wouldn’t have looked anything
Like Stallone’s meatfragging mutie’s mug,
Dredd’s face is all chin.
If you remove his hard-ass helmet,
Like a trembly sex-change surgeon
In a jacked-out meatwagon
Lopping off the tip of
A superfluous fragstick,
You will see two stubbled chins
Where his eyes should be.
Instead of nostrils,
You will see two perforated chins,
Just south of his chin-eyes,
Snorting up the pungent bouquets of
The post-apocalyptic evening breeze.
Instead of a mouth,
Dredd has a concave chin
(Judges don’t need to eat.
They subsist on justice
Who would win in a chin-off
And Bruce Campbell?