Whenever I hear the name David Cronenberg I feel vaguely uneasy. His name sounds like a horrible foreign film made by Guillermo Del Toro (whose name, by way of contrast, sounds like a refreshing ice cream). It is because of this rational fear that I have avoided watching any of his films, as a consequence of which, I am bound to review them, beginning with Videodrome. This one comes in poem form:


Q. What is a Drome?

A. It is a place for running.

Q. What is a Cronenberg?

A. It is a new way of seeing

Q. What is a Cronendrome?

A. It is a new way of seeing people running

When their dark chrome legs

Whirr in the synthetic light

Q. What is a Dromencrone?

A. It is a camel with two humps

Q. What is a Videocrone?

A. It is a soiled VHS showing a film of you dressed as an old woman

Q. What is a Dromenberg?

A. It is a spa town on the outskirts of Dusseldorf

Q. Why is a Videodrome?



5 Responses to “Videodrome”

  1. Joe Says:

    Ooh, Videodrome to be remade? Now there’s a post that is indeed ‘possibly related’.

    I’m confused as to why Cronenberg would make you feel uneasy. His portrayal of Dr Decker in Clive Barker’s Nightbreed was particularly warm and touching (albeit in a ‘stabby’ kind of way).

  2. johnlebaptiste Says:

    I wonder if they’ll call the remake DVDdrome?

  3. Joe Says:

    Or BluRaydrome. Depending on which edition you can afford.

  4. johnlebaptiste Says:

    Nice. BluRaydrome sounds like a singer from High School Musical. A bit.

  5. Joe Says:

    Also sounds a bit like something that’d create a Marvel superhero in the 1960s. So Stan Lee’s probably got it patented already.

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