Friends of the Agoraphobic Reviewer


In the same way that I often wonder whether there is a God, listening to my thoughts and laughing at the right intervals like a well-prompted sitcom audience, so too do I wonder whether anyone actually reads this blog. If however they do, it is surely thanks to the generous commendations given me by the following bloggers. It is only fair that I return the favour. Naturally, I have not read their blogs because I spend the larger part of my time strenuously avoiding watching any of the films I review. Anyway. Here they are: – this guy actually has the temerity to watch the films he reviews, and then make accurate and insightful comments about them. It makes me sick. – this nefarious character peers at the world askance through the murky, opaque waters of the semi-legal alcohol he moonshines up in his cellar, pausing occasionally to throw out spicey bluegrass licks on his banjo and ruminate on the ongoing necrosis of reality. – old rope is the inventor of the decorum- and RSPCA-baiting game ‘Poo-paw’. He is a danger only to himself however. His bulbous eye takes in all of creation – including fried breakfasts, imaginary sitcoms, northern soul music, cats called Yoko Ono, experimental artists called Tiddles – and cries it back out again in the form of a hilarious, melancholy teardrop.


2 Responses to “Friends of the Agoraphobic Reviewer”

  1. Joe Says:

    Thank you for not reading my blog, Agoraphobic Reviewer. And can I just say your voluminous output makes me green with envy, red with rage and purple with arousal.

  2. johnlebaptiste Says:


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