Not seen it. Don’t want to. Here poem.


Hello. I am on the board

Of judges

And will be

Assessing your aptitude

As a ballet dancer



Periodically I

Will drift off

Into a heady fugue

In which I will

Commune silently

With the spirits of

Rudolph Nureyev,

Noel Coward,

Oscar Wilde

And, alas,

The chubby youth

Who played


In The Goonies

And who,


To the wider public,


Many years ago

In sordid



I hope this isn’t

A problem

For you.


Now, if you’d

Like to begin

Your routine…


This is the most

Pubic dance

I’ve ever seen



Very good, very good

Take your time


It’s true Oscar

She’s a welder.

A welder!

I heard she

Once welded

Two metallic legs

To her body

And tried to join

The Royal Ballet

By pretending

To be a

Dancing ant.


Ok. Good. Good.

You’re doing well

Don’t worry.


Yes, Chunk, I’ll

Tell you what else

I heard:

She eats copper filings.

It’s true.

You can tell.

She looks the type.


Yes, you can

Finish now. Take

A moment to relax


If she touches me

I might get tetanus.

Good God!


Well, you’ve done

Very well. Thank you.

Obviously we have

Many other applicants

To take into consideration.

But we will let you know

Our decision

Within the next few weeks


Thank God that startling

Representation of a rusty Transformer

Rutting the sun

Is over. Come on lads,

Let’s go down to the

Gentleman’s club

And have a round of



2 Responses to “Flashdance”

  1. oldrope Says:

    You’re poems are getting longer and yet brief at the same time.

    Soon each line will be one word.

    Then each stanza one word.

    then each poem.

    Here’s hoping an any rate

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