Movie Trivia: Brokeback Mountain

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My contacts within the Moloch Machine that is Hollywood have fed me another powerful fig of gossip concerning the Ang Lee film Brokeback Mountain. As a dutiful servant of truth, I have reproduced it below:

Prior to signing on for Brokeback Mountain, Jake Gyllenhall insisted that a condition be added to his contract. The clause stipulated that in all of the scenes in which he is required to perform congress, a flannel of the director’s choosing, but no smaller than 4″ by 4″ and scented with Heinz Beef Soup, be interposed ‘twixt him and the other actor. “It is paramount,” stated the clause, “that Mr Gyllenhall’s dignity and person be preserved from compromise and that the flannel stand as a very shield between Gyllenhaal’s person and infamy, and that the invigorating fragrance of Beef Soup be never more than a sniff away while ever he is required to participate in bouts of simulated or unsimulated love-making.”

After filming was completed, the soup-inflected flannel was sold for $400, 000 in a charity auction. The successful bidder was one Mr Muff, an eccentric inventor of sweets, who hoped to distil the essence of the flannel and convert it into delicious confectionary which he called ‘Beefy Soupy Sex Nuggets’. Sadly, Mr Muff died before the formula could be perfected. The flannel was subsequently stolen by an employee, who lost it in a leisure centre toilet, where it was discovered by an ornithologist, who fed it to a majestic falcon. The circle of life is a truly wondrous thing.

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4 Responses to “Movie Trivia: Brokeback Mountain”

  1. oldrope Says:

    I heard it was mulligatawny

  2. johnlebaptiste Says:

    No, Jeff Mulligatawny was in the sequel, Brokeback Hillock: Love on a Less Steep Incline.

  3. oldrope Says:

    This old northern soul classic was the theme toon as I recall:

  4. johnlebaptiste Says:

    Great song. I like the singer’s hat.

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