The current economic debacle has taught us one valuable lesson, and that is that immoderate speculation will leave you destitute. Yes, over-speculate and you will wind up living beneath a bridge, performing unnatural acts on your former colleagues for loose change like a sad gigolo troll. The same applies to non-economic speculation. Take the mooted Dark Knight sequel. Some young men have worked themselves into such a fury of blind hypothesising regarding the content and casting of this film that they have lost all sense of perspective. Try engaging one of these poor specimens in a conversation about the best time to plant geraniums or whether the archaic practice of wrapping babies in swaddling clothes has had a bad press and he will stare at you blankly, mumbling something about Robin being ‘a pussy’.
There is hope however. Yes, the world may cease its fruitless speculation. For I have a definitive and unimpeachable account of what The Dark Knight 2/Batman 3 will involve. Hear me friends, for I am the oracle. These are Christopher Nolan’s notes for the film, which one of our agents liberated from his pockets:
Batman 3. Notes for.
More onomatopoeia (dark, realistic onomatopoeia such as ‘bang’, ‘crunch’, ‘wham’. NOT repeat NOT unrealistic, Joel Schumacher-esque onomatopoeia such as ‘bingle’, ‘whimmy’, ‘squoosh’, ‘whizzup’, ‘grammies’.
More exploration of the bat analogy. Bats like: fruit, whistling, rabies. Remember to ask Bale if he can ‘do fruit’.
Batman needs to grow as a person. He needs to let someone in. He needs to realise that you can’t always make it on your own (idea for script: ‘can’t….. make it….. on…. own… need friends….’ – important to stress pauses)
More jokes and light relief. Alfred could say something like ‘Don’t bloody break the bloody Batmobile again. I’m tired of filling out bloody insurance forms’. Bloody. LOL.
More dark stuff. Batman needs to do something really bad, like stab a dog. NB should the dog be bad? Moral dilemma.
Catwoman casting: Angelina Jolie OBVIOUSLY.
So that you don’t all get too excited I shall pause here. Keep your specs peeled for further snippets!