Funny Ha Ha

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Has anyone noticed how no-one is talking about Mumblecore films anymore? You know: Funny Ha Ha, The Puffy Chair, Mutual Appreciation, Hannah Takes The Stairs, Brenda Eats a Pear. Never seen them? Neither have I. Life’s too short. Here’s a poem about the Melancholy King of the Mumblecorers, Andrew Bujalski:

________

Tiddlywinks and piddly-pants.

In the name of all that is inaudible about

This great nation

I shall play my tiddlywinks

And ply my piddly-pants picture

And I shan’t make eye contact

With any of you guys,

(Assholes)

What was that?

No, I didn’t say anything.

(Assholes).

_________

Guys, could we um thinkum

About what um my character would

Be saying hereum I meanum

I’m just trying to tell a story

About regular guys

Like you and me, guys.

Y’know. Umrelationshipsum.

Y’know, none of this Valentine’s Day Card

Umcrap.

So he kinda likes Mort but Mort’s

Into Bert, y’know.

And it’s about how a breakup can be

Sorta beautiful.

Y’know.

__________

Now dump me like you kind of mean it.

(Asshole)

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5 Responses to “Funny Ha Ha”

  1. oldrope Says:

    Nothing is funny about Assholes

  2. oldrope Says:

    Ok, a little bit. I just looked at mine and it made me laugh…

    One day I discover’d
    A mirror, and thence
    I snook a peek
    At my lower cheeks
    And laughed all the night long
    (But oh it smelt so wrong)
    (My asshole)

  3. johnlebaptiste Says:

    What have they been doing to you in Argentina Old Rope?

    My poor little Old Rope. Once the best mind of his generation. Now destroyed by madness, flapping around in his Jesus jammies talking to his own colon.

  4. oldrope Says:

    I dont talk to my own colon, for fuck’s sake you make it sound like a cursory telephone call to one’s mother when the bills at her asylum are due for payment. Rather, I converse with my rectum, sing with it and engage in discussions on the subject of historicism and the impossibility of truth. Need I remind you of the far from trifling volume of epic verse penned by my fair shitter only last year…? Just because the most your rump has ever produced is a series of cling-ons and runny logs peppered with sweetcorn.

  5. johnlebaptiste Says:

    Bums

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