The Cat From Outer Space


I, Banjo Fett, saw this film once. In fact, it was the first film I ever saw at the cinema. It undoubtedly shaped my psyche in a number of ways. Here, I explore some of those in the form of a poem.

The Cat From Outer Space

Pithy little cat,

From beyond the stars,

Your saucer runs not on milk,

Or catnip,

As one might expect of a space-cat,

But on gold.

You cheeky little sod.

“Get me some gold,”

Your magic space-collar barks,

“So I can get home.

For I am a fluffy little tyke,

With a penchant for the murder of small beasts.

And space travel.”

Come here Zunar-J-5/9 Doric-4-7,

And let me tickle your chin.

And we’ll talk turkey,

About how to steal enough gold,

To get you out of my life,

For good.


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9 Responses to “The Cat From Outer Space”

  1. johnlebaptiste Says:

    That covetous beast! How specifically did the film affect your attitude towards cats and/or aliens. Frankly, after seeing the Bowie-soundtracked Cat People, I can’t look a cat without storing it in my ‘bank’ for ‘later’. Eh, eh? Phwoooar.

  2. Banjo Fett Says:

    Well I never leave a cat in the same room as my piles of gold. Not unattended anyway. But that’s just common sense.

  3. johnlebaptiste Says:

    That Felix was the worst. Always licking his whiskers with Mammonite goldlust. I heard his litter tray was filled with golden filings, and that the only kind of cereal he would ever eat was Golden Grahams.

  4. Banjo Fett Says:

    Phoo. Felix was probably one of these outer space cats too. That’s my fear on the matter. I mean how d’you tell? Unless they’re wearing their magical collars, and using them to talk and levitate and everything.

    My grandpappy had a saying: “Never trust nuthin’ that can’t stand on its hind-quarters and do a 180-degree spinning-jump double power grab.”

    I’m inclined to agree with ‘im.

  5. johnlebaptiste Says:

    It’s funny you mention Fett Snr Snr, I was just admiring this portrait of him the other day. Mark the noble eye and dignified pose:

  6. pariahrustbucket Says:

    Top Cat was another mercenary little beast. I know this, because he wore a waistcoat.

  7. Banjo Fett Says:

    Ah, I love that shot of Grandpappy Fett. He was the master of the bird-flip double power grab.

    Funnily enough, he had a saying about waistcoats: “A man who favours waistcoats would steal the teeth from a dead horse. A cat in a waistcoat is probably homosexual. And there ain’t nuthin’ wrong with that, sir.”

  8. Boyz ‘n’ the Hood « The Agoraphobic Reviewer Says:

    […] ← The Cat From Outer Space […]

  9. johnlebaptiste Says:

    I gots a penchant for the murder of small beasts. Scarce can I look upon a water-vole without clubbing it round its hind legs like a G20 policeman.

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