Caprica Quiz


Following on from the runaway international success of the Battlestar Galactica quizzes, which commanded levels of adoration and intense devotion akin to that enjoyed by the Pope before all of this distasteful molesting scandal business (swings and roundabouts, eh Ratty?), here is a quiz about the BSG spin-off Caprica, which I have unprecedentedly been watching, with my eyes and everything. That was a long sentence. Still, full stops should be used sparingly. It’s like what my Uncle Ricky always says about women: use them quickly, only when you have to and with your eyes closed.

Ok spin-off fans. Here are the brainteasers:

1)      Joseph Adama, father of William, is a native of which planet:

(a)    The Moon

(b)   Transsexual Transylvania

(c)    Gaedi Prime

(d)   Tauron

(2) The youth of Caprica get their kicks by plugging into a virtual world. What is the name of this virtual world:

(a)    Rotherham

(b)    Doncaster

(c)    Barnsley

(d)    Cornball the Clown’s Crazy World of Sponge

(3) How does the original, human version of Zoe Graystone perish?

(a)    Bad mangos

(b)   Tripping over some hindering snodgrass

(c)    Going for a swim in Michael Barrymore’s pool

(d)   On the bog, a la Elvis

(4) Sister Clarice Willow belongs to a terrorist group, who worship the one true…

(a)    Beat

(b)   Beak

(c)    Beady Eye

(d)   Beast

(5) The comeliness of Alessandra Torresani, who plays Zoe Graystone, can best be summed up with which of the following words:

(a)    Phweeeeep

(b)   Phwoarrrrrgh

(c)    Phrurgle

(d)   Phoing!


7 Responses to “Caprica Quiz”

  1. Banjo Fett Says:

    Oh god, erm, erm… THE MOON! And er… oh, erm, DONCASTER and er, ELVIS, BEAK and, ahhh… PHWEEEEEP!!

    The moon’s a planet, right? It must be.

  2. johnlebaptiste Says:

    Yes, yes, I think those are the right answers. PHWEEEEP is at least the noise I make when said Torressani comes on screen. That, and TOOOOT. And sometimes TOOWIT-TOOWOO if I’m feeling like an amorous barn owl.

    I’m pretty sure the moon is a planet. Well, half of it is.

    That JPEG from Millionaire can’t be genuine, can it?

  3. oldrope Says:

    These television programmes you watch, what on earth are they. Not the concept, I am aware of goggleshow. I just mean, they sound like the sort of drivel I would find were I to crack open your skull and peek about inside, amongst the goo and gristle. Surely television programmes cant actually match what is inside a (and I use the term lightly) person’s head….?

  4. johnlebaptiste Says:

    On the contrary, the angles and dimensions of the robots and spaceships form a Ballardian analogue with the architecture of my consciousness. That is to say, I like it when they go ‘Whirrrrrp’ and ‘Squooofffff’.

  5. oldrope Says:

    So it’s basically Fireball XL5 but with real tits…?

  6. spicyeggnog Says:


  7. johnlebaptiste Says:

    What have I told you Spicy Eggnog: No Owls Allowed on the Internet. Too many pellets.

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