Furia de Titanes

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Financed and produced entirely in Latin America, this new epic saga from French director Louis Leterrier makes the unusual decision to focus on Ancient Greece. Devotees of that cruel mistress History, however, need not fear, for the film is historically accurate and what’s more is a thoroughly gripping yarn to boot.

El Krakeno, played by Tony Hart's Morph in 1981

Attempting to cover the full plethora of Greek mythology (mythology is the same as history, right?) would be a foolhardy and impossible task and only a mad Frenchman with a budget of $125million would be crazy enough to try. Which is handy. Indeed Leterrier achieves just that, covering every single episode found within Hans Christian Anderson’s Greek Myths and Other True Stories and a few more tall tales that no one knew about an’ all.

All good documentaries need a hero and Furia de Titanes has them in spades. There is none more heroic , however, than Ricardo Miguel Perseuso, played by Sam Worthington  –  a man with a name so unbefitting of Hollywood it is a wonder he wasn’t physically drummed out of the Actors Guild by a bunch of thespians brandishing a Big Book of Names.

Sam Worthington on set of Furia de Titanes

For reasons that are never properly explained in the film (perchance they are lost in the mists of time) Perseuso has to travel around fighting monsters in a dress. Since he has to cover large distances his mode of transportation is a bus. That is until he runs into Pegasus the flying horse, voiced here by Liam Neeson. Pegasus serves not only as a more equestrian alternative to the vengabus employed by Perseuso previously, but he also provides the comic relief in what is otherwise a heavy and blood-encrusted thriller. This is in no small part thanks to the talents of Neeson, who infamously cut his chops on the stand up circuit of Lima, Peru. It was here that he acquired his now famous Latino accent that has made him so much cash and bagged him so much gringo tang.

Ralph Fiennes has the somewhat daunting task of playing all the women in the film (in a stylistic nod to the custom of the time), but it is one which he hurls himself into with such vigour that this scribe quite forgot that twixt her silky legs, Hera was in fact in possession of a titan of her own.

Jason Flemyng turns in a decent enough performance as Jose Hernandez, king of the gods and he is amiably supported by Danny Huston as Jose Maria Moreno, god of the sea; Leonard Nimoy as all of the Roman gods (about the only time the celluloid version differs from the Greek original); and finally a nice pair of trousers, which phones in a performance as Hades, god of the underworld.

All the usual suspects are also present and correct: Maria Lopez, the gorgon with snakes for hair; Senorita Aphrodite the whore of Babylon; and el Krakeno, a sort of big South American octopus with a bad attitude. Since this is a remake of the 1981 stop-motion plasticine classic (starring Wallace and Grommit as Zeus and Hades) we all know what happens at the very end  –  i.e. a giant singsong on mount Olympus, located at the heart of the Andes.  But suffice to say that the climactic final battle, populated by countless CGI Mexicans, a realistic chupacabras and employing some 900 million Inca extras, was so breathtaking I genuinely pebble-dashed my pants right in the middle of the cinema from sheer joy. Or at least I would have done had I gone to see it.

I give this film 12 tasks of Hercules.

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8 Responses to “Furia de Titanes”

  1. oldrope Says:

    Incidentally, anyone wishing to learn more about the chupacabras (other than the wikipedia entry linked to in the article), the scourge of Latin America, would do well to listen to this fab song here:

  2. The Filth and The Fury « Old Rope Says:

    […] The first for Disney’s macho swashbuckler, Mulan and the second for historical docu-drama Furia de Titanes (or” Clash of the Titans” to our gringo pals). Go. Read. Return. […]

  3. johnlebaptiste Says:

    12 Tasks of Hercules! Hot Dumplings in Hades! I’ve got to see me this film.

    You have to admit though, that Sam Worthington is a true original. So much so that he has given rise to a new kind of film, which I call ‘Worther’s Originals’.

    SFA = Pants

  4. oldrope Says:

    Sir, I must inform you that I reet got my knickers in a lather over your insult to my Welsh boyfs. Luckily you redeemed yourself with the previous josh about Sam. I approved of your new term so much that Sprite came out of my nose. At least it would have, had I been drinking Sprite. Which incidentally they love here in Argentinaland

  5. spicyeggnog Says:

    Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien super super!

    Do not mind JLB, for he is, to quote Rimmer’s Book of Spobs, “a seedless mango”.

  6. johnlebaptiste Says:

    Another SFA spoon come to join the big indie love-in.

    Don’t listen to ’em kids. This is what’s currently at the top of the JLB chart:

    1) Paul Robeson, ‘Shenandoah’

    2) Adam Green, ‘Homelife’
    (you’ll have to spotify or download this one)

    3) Pete David and the Payroll Union, ‘Abigail’
    http://www.myspace.com/petedavidandthepayrollunion

    4) Tex Ritter, ‘Rye Whisky’

    5) Reverend Glass-Eye and his Wooden Legs, ‘Penitentiary Highball’
    (spotify or download)

  7. oldrope Says:

    I appreciate this insight into the mind of JLB, if only to add weight to my submission to have him locked up for good.

  8. johnlebaptiste Says:

    No way. That there list is the pick of the pops. I must confess I do like some SFA tunes (esp. Ice Hockey Hair), but I’m tired of people in flared corduroys, thick-rimmed glasses and silly backpacks going on about them. I can scarcely leave the house without one of them bending my ear about some zany SFA lyric. To them I say: nay.

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