I’ve not seen any of the innumerable Elvis Presley films. I prefer Howlin’ Wolf. Anyway, here’s a poem about what (presumably) happens in Presley’s penal film, ‘Jailhouse Rock’.
1.
Elvis hit Alcatraz like a juggernaut of buggery
Rumping his way through the fields of felony:
Jump-suited, slobbering and masterful;
Savage, blubberous and terrible.
2.
Before twilight fell across the exercise yard
Where you see the sea-beams glint between stir and civilisation
Like the insubstantial but dazzling hopes of
A thousand leathery old lags on life without parole,
A million sequins lay bent and winking on the asphalt,
Blinking out a semaphore of sodomy
Where they fell from Presley’s rutting trunk
As he harrowed and hogroasted a hapless punk.
3.
Had his stable of bitches
Been a stable of horses
He might have kept
The French in steak for a decade.
His butterfingers caused
The warden of Alcatraz
To blow a year’s budget on soap.
His whiskers were oily with chicken fat
His mouth was greasy with hubris.
4.
And at the splintered woodwork
The screws they speechlessly stare,
For when Elvis couldn’t find a partner
He used a wooden chair.
Tags: Chair Molestor, Corpulent Sensualists, Elvis Presley, Fat Boy, Gastro-Intestinal Complications, Howlin' Wolf, Jailhouse Rock, mmmmedium d-d-d-drink, Penal System, Prison Ombudsman, Punk
May 19, 2010 at 4:38 am |
luffly! why don’t you set it to an Elvis type rockabilly tune?
May 19, 2010 at 9:33 pm |
I did, and I was thrown out of the swimming pool before I’d even got to the third verse!
May 20, 2010 at 3:24 am |
pity. The acoustics must have been amazing
September 11, 2011 at 3:09 am |
I love Elvis but not when he is fatjj
September 22, 2011 at 11:00 am |
‘Spose so.