I have seen Bertolucci’s 1900 (or Novecento in common parlance) but only once, and many years ago. It’s a film so long that the DVD comes in a suitcase boxset with its own Sherpa. For those of you too busy to watch all 1900 hours of it, here’s a potted beef version:

My lad ‘e’s but a simple farmer’s lad,

In top ‘at and tails tha’ll not find ‘im clad,

And t’were naught but a fancy o’t boozy lords,

To unleash ‘pon’t peasants t’fascist zombie ‘ordes.

Yet tho’ young Olmo were faced wi’t ‘orrors o’t livin’ dead,

Sense ‘e ‘ad to shoot ’em in’t ‘ead.

Wasted rounds on flappin’ limbs were not ‘is lot,

Oh, nay ‘ow squire, not one blinkin’ jot.

Wi’ chainsaw in one ‘and,

An’ boomstick in t’other,

He led t’workers against t’blackshirt zombie mothers.

And told he, to t’Communist Party,

Of t’nightmare o’ facin’ an army of undead nazis.


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10 Responses to “1900”

  1. Banjo Fett Says:

    Why hast thou forsaken me, WordPress? Why is my entry not appearing on the front page? Nyaaaarrr!!

    [Power grab]
    [Exit stage left]

  2. johnlebaptiste Says:

    Sorry Cavaliere Fett – I thought I’d said – since the theme was changed you have to go to ‘visibility’ before you publish it then click on ‘stick to front page’. I don’t know how to make it work automatically. Anyway, I’ve stuck that badboy to the front page. I must let Pariah Rustbucket know also.

    Penitent Power-Grab
    Dons Hair-Shirt

  3. johnlebaptiste Says:

    “Wi’ chainsaw in one ‘and,
    An’ boomstick in t’other,”

    This is a spicy kind of genius

  4. Banjo Fett Says:

    Aha. Oho. Uh-hee. Mm-hurm. Yes. You probably did say that. And I probably ignored it.

  5. oldrope Says:

    I have long wanted to see this film. I even felt under some pressure to see it, since the very act of not seeing it called for a review. You, sir, have spared me the need to write a review and thus I have more time to watch 1900.

    Which is convenient, since I have not see 1850 through 1899 yet.

  6. Banjo Fett Says:

    Funny how different 1900 is to 2001. It’s like they’re not even part of the same series.

  7. oldrope Says:

    Yeah but the cast was quite different by then and I’m pretty sure the producers (or at least whoever was in charge) was radically different too… Rumour has it the latest series is about to have a change in director…

  8. Banjo Fett Says:

    Well 2012 was beyond the pale if you ask me. There’s no greater signifier of having jumped the shark than putting John Cusack in an action role.

  9. Banjo Fett Says:

    Someone post something good. This piece of dogplop doesn’t deserve to be on the front page for so long.

  10. oldrope Says:

    Lies and slander Fett!!! JLB, I think the site should be shut down, in a mark of honour to a the paralysis of a hung parliament and we should all be forced to read THIS compelling post above every day until those bods at Westminster assure our fate. Or you could get Pariah Rustbucket to pen one, he’s not been round these parts for a bit…

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