The Homilies of John Travolta

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Here are some aphorisms, authored by the venerable Scientological theologian, John Travolta. I have found them a source of solace and guidance when troubled by the iniquities of the world. I hope you feel the same:

What are the wind, if not a gassy blowing?

Love as you would love a pig.

Dance as if you had no legs.

The wise man knows that wisdom is foolish.

Follow folly and you will find a fool.

We would all like to have clean pants, but who among us deserve them?

God is a dream, dreamed up by an alien.

Realise your hurt.

Argos is a brothel and its brochures are the brides of Satan.

‘SNEEE’ is the only word you need to know. All other words are frivolous.

SNEEE.

Give your children to a bear. He would do the same for you.

Beneath the smiling veneer of the sitcom ‘Happy Days’ lurks a bottomless abyss of unholy unhappiness.

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3 Responses to “The Homilies of John Travolta”

  1. oldrope Says:

    Is this some sort of a sick joke??? Everyone knows Travolta lives by the creed, “Jew unto others as you would have them jew unto you”

  2. johnlebaptiste Says:

    No no. You’ve got that wrong. You’re thinking of his ill-advised foray into soft porn in the mid-80s: “Do Unto Others”. It was well Unto.

  3. blackwatertown Says:

    I feel much wiser.
    Thanks for the enlightenment.

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