Hairy Spy Kids are Watching You!
Spy Kids 4D is an espionage thriller for our post-Wikileaks times. Starring the 2-year old Timberlake DuFont as Binky, an old-school (spy code for pre-school) CIA agent, and the 2-and-three-quarters -year old Princess Snortums as Ruthy, his fast-talking, incontinent partner, it offers us a terrifying opportunity to listen in to the baby monitor of modern-day spydom. Here is a little poem about it.
Peppa Pig Colouring Books
(Ah! How I remember delicately
Dragging a stubby pink crayon
Across the inky borders of
Peppa’s regal concave snout
Back before it all got out of hand),
Donkeys, ice cream,
Hopscotch, dolls
-That shit doesn’t cut it anymore.
These days you ain’t nobody
In the nursery
Unless you can hold your own
In the high-stakes game of
International espionage.
Binky surveilled that fat man
That fat man, you know him,
That fat man with a funny broken mouth
And the dogs and the car
That goes ‘zoooom’
Passing a mysterious piece of paper
To the newsagent.
24 hours later he was being waterboarded
In an unspecified former-Eastern Bloc state.
Watch what you pass to newsagents.
That’s all I’m saying.
The kids are watching.
Tags: CIA, Espionage, Extraordinary Rendition, Peppa Pig, poem, Robert Rodriguez, Spy Kids 4d, Surveillance, That Fat Man with the Broken Mouth, Thriller, Wikileaks
The Agoraphobic Reviewer 
September 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm |
I’m gonna say what we’re all thinkin… what’s the fourth dimension buddy?
September 2, 2011 at 12:12 pm |
Interesting question Old Rope. Glad you asked. Some speculate that the fourth dimension is constituted entirely of sherry trifle. Others conjecture that it is a gentleman’s club in Harrogate. Still others say it is whatever you want it to be (unless you want it to be a world made entirely of sherry trifle, in which case you are doomed to disappointment). But one thing is certain.