Archive for the ‘Working Titles’ Category

Working Titles 3

February 27, 2010

Here are some more working titles, pasted from the comments section of the two previous Working Titles posts, where they languished in undeserved obscurity. I’ve indicated the authors at the end of each entry. BF = Banjo Fett (or Boglin Fist), PR =Pariah Rustbucket (or Perpendicular Ruffian), SE = Spicy Eggnog (or Snaggletoothed Empress). Spicy Eggnog is the latest addition to the Agoraphobic Reviewer hive-mind. We should be treated to one of his ponder-pieces very soon, provided he can get off his indolent, gopher-groping haunches and write something. In the meantime, you can read about his adventures in Scandinavia and his own mind at the Fiskepudding Chronicles.

Last Tango in Paris = Butter My Love (BF)

Back to the Future = How I Nearly Did My Mom (BF)

The Neverending Story = The Story Without End (BF)

The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter = The Story Without End, Part II (BF)

The Neverending Story III: The Escape From Fantasia = The End of the Story Without End (BF)

2001: A Space Odyssey = 2001: A Space Iliad (PR)

Dances with Wolves = Shuffling Gopher Grope (SE)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button = The Intriguing Instance of Zebediah Zip-Fastening (PR)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit = The Bunny Boiler (PR)

Up = Down (PR)

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope = The Daring Adventures of Young Captain Lazer-Sword (BF)

The Sixth Sense = The Ghostly Detective (BF)

Se7en = I’ve Gone and Done It Again! (BF)

Toy Story = Child’s Play 4 (BF)

Working Titles 2

February 24, 2010

Here are some more working titles that were cruelly denied their chance to shine from the billboards of history:

Chocolat = Chocolate

White Men Can’t Jump = Caucasoid on Court

Ladyhawke = Dame Kes

William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet = Romeo and Juliet

West Side Story = William Shakespeare’s West Side Story

The Little Mermaid = Fishy Homunculus

Working Titles

February 3, 2010

Working titles are the palimpsests of the movie world. No, that’s wrong. Working titles are the vestigial tails of the cinematic universe. They are the discarded pennies in the wishing-fountain of our collective dreams and aspirations, gathered up by covetous hobos into their sticky little pouches that they might one day redeem them for a delicious can of discount special brew. They are the exiled princes of IMDB: never mentioned, except when they are mentioned. They are dead stars, still twinkling at us from the sarcophagous of time. Are they? I don’t know. Someone find out for me. Anyway, here are some working titles that never made the grade:

Turner and Hooch = Floppy Dog and the Policeman

Withnail and I = Withnail and Ian

The Curious Tale of Benjamin Button = Jammy Button!

The Towering Inferno = The Infernoing Tower

Idiocracy = Stoopid Footure

Gremlins = Boglins

Deep Throat = I’d Prefer a Lozenge

Sex and the City: the movie = Retinal Bleach