Posts Tagged ‘Lisping’

Snakes on a Plane

April 21, 2010

Snakes in a Cave

Snakes on a Plane is so bad it’s good, according to the common consensus. I prefer things that are so good they’re good. I’m a simple man, see, and kitschy paradoxes get short shrift from me. Here is a scene from the film in question.

William:

‘I thaw the bathilithk Mithter L. Jackthon,

The anthient one, with hith Pharoah’th eyeth

And thupine majethty.

And I mutht join him.

He callth to me.

“William”, he thayth, “Little William,

Be my human prietht on thith earth,

Take thith apple Willy,

Thith delithiouth green apple

And know what it ith to be eternal

Like the thnake people

Like the Therpent Mathter-rathe.”’

Samuel L. Jackson:

‘This story has the ring of untruth about it.’

William:

‘He’th real I tell you Mithter L. Jackthon!

I wath wathing my handth in the cubicle

And thinking of the thtewardeth’th thick thighth

Thinking how I’d like to thqueethe them

Like a green-grother.

When I heard an enchanting voithe,

That thung with thenthual thibilantth.’

Samuel L. Jackson:

‘I’m still not convinced’

William:

‘You will be the firtht to feel hith

Punithing fangth, unbeliever’

Samuel L. Jackson:

‘I doubt it’

Snake-King:

‘Thurprithe!’

Samuel L. Jackson:

‘Motherfucking shit. It’s a motherfucking basilisk or some shit’

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