Happy Jubilee fellow agoraphobes! Here’s a picture of HMS QEII drawn by the historian, Lord David Starkey of Cheapside, which I present to you under the spurious premise that it somehow constitutes a review of ‘The Queen’, a Stephen Frears film released in 2006. Obviously it isn’t a review, nor does it have anything to do with the film, but what’s it to you? And while we’re on the subject, what are you supposed to be, some kind of beastly roundhead or something?
Posts Tagged ‘Vagina Dentata’
Why am I so obsessed with Dune? This poem might have the answer:
Straggly, wiggly, spice worm
Hunkering through the sherbety sands of Arrakis,
With your mouth like a fanged vulva
And your body like a lazy whale’s penis
You are ribbed for no-one’s pleasure.
How do spice worms mate?
Do they coil like sweetbreads in a sugary lattice?
Do they get into bed like regular folks?
Do they take their socks off?
What is the policy regarding human spectators?
I am surrounded by losers with silly names:
Shadout Mapes, Gurney Halleck, The Beast Rabban,
Dr Wellington Yueh, Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV
Why don’t people call their kids things like Bill anymore?
Just for once I’d like to leave all of this hideousness
And watch two spice worms bone each other
Against the lightning forks of midnight,
Two meaty colossi humping for the fate of the galaxy
And the entertainment of grubby little me.