The Homilies of John Travolta

Here are some aphorisms, authored by the venerable Scientological theologian, John Travolta. I have found them a source of solace and guidance when troubled by the iniquities of the world. I hope you feel the same:

What are the wind, if not a gassy blowing?

Love as you would love a pig.

Dance as if you had no legs.

The wise man knows that wisdom is foolish.

Follow folly and you will find a fool.

We would all like to have clean pants, but who among us deserve them?

God is a dream, dreamed up by an alien.

Realise your hurt.

Argos is a brothel and its brochures are the brides of Satan.

‘SNEEE’ is the only word you need to know. All other words are frivolous.

SNEEE.

Give your children to a bear. He would do the same for you.

Beneath the smiling veneer of the sitcom ‘Happy Days’ lurks a bottomless abyss of unholy unhappiness.